2027 

L62   Howells. 


Southern   Branch 
of  the 

University  of  California 

Los  Angeles 


2,02,7 


This  book  is  DUE  on  the  last  date  stamped  be 


1921 


192S 

JAN  3  1  1925 


MAY  1  6  1927 
OEC1  2195f 


• 


- 


A   LIKELY   STORY 


A    LIKELY    STORY 
ffarce 


BY 

W.  D.  HOWELLS 


NEW    YORK    AND     LONDON 
HARPER    &    BROTHERS    PUBLISHERS 


Black  and  White  Series 

Illustrated.     321110,  Cloth,  50  cents  each. 
MY  YEAR  IN  A  Loo  CABIN,  j  JAMES   RUSSELL  LOWELL. 

THE  WORK    OF  WASHING- 

William  Curtis. 

Dutlley  Warner. 
EDWIN  BOOTH.   By  Laurence 
Mutton. 

By  John  Kendrick  Bangs. 
THREE  WEEKS  IN  POLITICS. 
By  John  Kendrick  Bangs. 

COURT.      By  Brander   Mat- 
thews. 
PHILLIPS  BROOKS.     By  the 

A  LITTLE  Swiss  SOJOURN. 
By  William  Dean  Hovvells. 

GEORGE  WILLIAM  CURTIS. 
By  John  White  Chadwick. 
THE    RIVALS.      By    Francois 
Coppee. 

ITED.  By  Brander  Matthews. 
THIS    PICTURE    AND   THAT. 
By  Brander  Matthews. 
TRAVELS   IN  AMERICA  100 

TRADK    IN    AFRICA.      By 
Henry  M.  Stanley. 

Twining. 
THE  UNEXPECTED  GUESTS. 

Naomi  Tainura. 
GILES  CORKY,  YEOMAN.   By 
Mary  H.  Wilkins. 
WHITTIER.     By  Mrs.  James 
T.  Fields. 
SEEN  FROM  THE  SADDLE. 
By  Isa  Carrington  Cabell. 

HARPER    &    BROTH 
NEW  YORK    A 

DEPOT.—  EVENING  DRESS. 
—A  LIKELY  STORY.—  THE 
MOUSE-TRAP.—  THE   GAR- 

ROTERS.  —  FIVE    O'CLOCK 

TEA.     Farces.     Each    com- 
plete   in    one    volume.      By 
William  Dean  Howells. 

ERS,  PUBLISHERS, 
WD   LONDON. 

Copyright,  1894,  by  HARPER  &  BROTHERS. 

Copyright,  1885,  by  HARPER  &  BROTHERS. 

Copyright,  1885,  by  W.  D.  HOWELLS. 

All  rights  reserved. 


ILLUSTRATIONS 


"  THE  MOST   EXCITING    PART   OF   IT  "  .      .  Frontispiece 

MR,  WELLING   EXPLAINS. Facing  page  $2 


f* 

^  o  a 


LIKLLY   STORY 

2.  3  70  O 

I 

MRS.  W 'ILL IS  CAMPBELL 

A/TRS.   CAMPBELL:    "Now    this,    I 
think,  is  the  most  exciting  part  of 
the  whole  affair,  and  the   pleasantest." 
x^  She  is  seated  at  breakfast  in  her  cottage 
\  at  Summering- by- the- Sea.     A  heap  of 
%  letters  of  various  stylish  shapes,  colors, 
7"   and  superscriptions  lies  beside  her  plate, 
4    and   irregularly  straggles  about  among 
«    the  coffee-service.    Vis-a-vis  with  her  sits 
*l    Mr.  Campbell  behind  a  newspaper.  "How 
prompt  they  are  !     Why,  I  didn't  expect 
to  get  half  so  many  answers  yet.     But 
that  shows  that  where  people  have  noth- 
ing to  do  but  attend  to  their  social  duties 
they  are  always  prompt — even  the  men ; 
women,  of   course,  reply   early  anyway, 


and  you  don't  really  care  for  them ;  but 
in  town  the  men  seem  to  put  it  off  till 
the  very  last  moment,  and  then  some  of 
them  call  when  it's  over  to  excuse  them- 
selves for  not  having  come  after  accept- 
ing. It  really  makes  you  wish  for  a  lei- 
sure class.  It's  only  the  drive  and  hurry 
of  American  life  that  make  our  men 
seem  wanting  in  the  convenances ;  and  if 
they  had  the  time,  with  their  instinc- 
tive delicacy,  they  would  be  perfect :  it 
would  come  from  the  heart :  they're  more 
truly  polite  now.  Willis,  just  look  at 
this !" 

Campbell,  behind  his  paper  :  "  Look  at 
what  ?" 

Mrs.  Campbell:  "These  replies.  Why, 
I  do  believe  that  more  than  half  the  peo- 
ple have  answered  already,  and  the  invi- 
tations only  went  out  yesterday.  That 
comes  from  putting  on  R.  S.  V.  P.  I  knew 
I  was  right,  and  I  shall  always  do  it,  I 
don't  care  what  you  say." 

Campbell :  "  You  didn't  put  on  R.S.V.P. 
after  all  I  said?"  He  looks  round  the 
edge  of  his  paper  at  her. 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  Yes,  I  did.     The  idea 


of  your  setting  up  for  an  authority  in  such 
a  thing  as  that !" 

Campbell :  "  Then  I'm  sorry  I  didn't 
ask  you  to  do  it.  It's  a  shame  to  make 
people  say  whether  they'll  come  to  a 
garden -party  from  four  till  seven  or 
not." 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  A  shame  ?  How  can 
you  provide  if  you  don't  know  how  many 
are  coming  ?  I  should  like  to  know  that. 
But  of  course  I  couldn't  expect  you  to 
give  in  gracefully." 

Campbell :  "  I  should  give  in  gracefully 
if  I  gave  in  at  all,  but  I  don't."  He  throws 
his  paper  down  beside  his  chair.  "  Here, 
hand  over  the  letters,  and  I'll  be  open- 
ing them  for  you  while  you  pour  out  the 
coffee." 

Mrs.  Campbell,  covering  the  letters 
with  her  hands  :  "  Indeed  you  won't !" 

Campbell :  "  Well,  pour  out  the  coffee, 
then,  anyway." 

Mrs.  Campbell,  after  a  moment's  reflec- 
tion': "  No,  I  shall  not  do  it.  I'm  going 
to  open  them  every  one  before  you  get  a 
drop  of  coffee — just  to  punish  you." 

Campbell :  "  To  punish  me  ?  For  what  ?" 


Mrs.  Campbell  hesitates,  as  if  at  a  loss 
what  to  say.  "  There  !  you  don't  know.' 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  Yes,  I  do  :  for  sayinp 
I  oughtn't  to  have  put  on  R.S.V.P.  DC 
you  take  it  back  ?" 

Campbell:  "How  can  I  till  I've  had 
some  coffee?  My  mind  won't  work  on 
an  empty  stomach.  Well — "  He  rises 
and  goes  round  the  table  towards  her. 

Mrs.  Campbell,  spreading  both  arms 
over  the  letters :  "  Willis,  if  you  dare  to 
touch  them,  I'll  ring  for  Jane,  and  then 
she'll  see  you  cutting  up." 

Campbell:  "Touch  what?  I'm  com- 
ing to  get  some  coffee." 

Mrs.  Campbell:  "Well,  I'll  give  you 
some  coffee ;  but  don't  you  touch  a  sin- 
gle one  of  those  letters  —  after  what 
you've  said." 

Campbell :  "  All  right !"  He  extends 
one  hand  for  the  coffee,  and  with  the 
other  sweeps  all  the  letters  together,  and 
starts  back  to  his  place.  As  she  flies 
upon  him,  "  Look  out,  Amy;  you'll  make 
me  spill  this  coffee  all  over  the  table- 
cloth." 

Mrs.  Campbell,  sinking  into  her  seat : 


"  Oh,  Willis,  how  can  you  be  so  base  ? 
Give  me  my  letters.  Do!" 

Campbell,  sorting  them  over :  "  You 
may  have  half." 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  No ;  I  shall  have  all. 
I  insist  upon  it." 

Campbell :  "  Well,  then,  you  may  have 
all  the  ladies'  letters.  There  are  twice  as 
many  of  them." 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  No  ;  I  shall  have  the 
men's,  too.  Give  me  the  men's  first." 

Campbell :  "  How  can  I  tell  which  are 
the  men's  without  opening  them  ?" 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  How  could  you  tell 
which  were  the  ladies'  ?  Come,  now, 
Willis,  don't  tease  me  any  longer.  You 
know  I  hate  it." 

Campbell,  studying  the  superscriptions, 
one  after  another :  "  I  want  to  see  if  I  can 
guess  who  wrote  them.  Don't  you  like 
to  guess  who  wrote  your  letters  before 
you  open  them  ?•" 

Mrs.  Campbell,  with  dignity  :  "  I  don't 
like  to  guess  who  wrote  other  people's 
letters."  She  looks  down  at  the  table- 
cloth with  a  menace  of  tears,  and  Camp- 
bell instantly  returns  all  the  notes. 


Campbell :  "  There,  Amy ;  you  may 
have  them.  I  don't  care  who  wrote  them, 
nor  what's  in  them.  And  I  don't  want 
you  to  interrupt  me  with  any  exclama- 
tions over  them,  if  you  please.'  He 
reaches  to  the  floor  for  his  newspaper, 
and  while  he  sips  his  coffee,  Mrs.  Camp- 
bell loses  no  time  in  opening  her  letters. 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  I  shall  do  nothing 
but  exclaim.  The  Curwens  accept,  of 
course — the  very  first  letter.  That  means 
Mrs.  Curwen ;  that  is  one.  at  any  rate. 
The  New  York  Addingses  do,  and  the 
Philadelphia  Addingses  don't ;  I  hardly 
expected  they  would,  so  soon  after  their 
aunt's  death,  but  I  thought  I  ought  to 
ask  them.  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Roberts,  natu- 
rally ;  it  was  more  a  joke  than  anything, 
sending  their  invitation.  Mrs.  and  the 
Misses  Carver  regret  very  much  ;  well,  / 
don't.  Professor  and  Mrs.  Traine  are 
very  happy,  and  so  am  I ;  he  doesn't  go 
everywhere,  and  he's  awfully  nice.  Mr. 
and  Mrs.  Lou  Bemis  are  very  happy,  too, 
and  Dr.  Lawton  is  very  happy.  Mrs. 
Bridges  Dear  Mrs.  Campbells  me,  and  is 
very  sorry  in  the  first  person ;  she's  al- 


ways  nice.  Mr.  Phillips,  Mr.  Rangeley, 
Mr.  Small,  Mr.  Peters,  Mr.  Staples,  Mr. 
Thornton,  all  accept,  and  they're  all 
charming  young  fellows." 

Campbell,  around  his  paper:  "Well, 
what  of  that  ?" 

Mrs.  Campbell,  with  an  air  of  busy  pre- 
occupation :  "  Don't  eavesdrop,  please ; 
I  wasn't  talking  to  you.  The  Merrills 
have  the  pleasure,  and  the  Morgans  are 
sorrow-stricken  ;  the — " 

Campbell :  "  Yes,  but  why  should  you 
care  whether  those  fellows  are  charming 
or  not  ?  Who's  going  to  marry  them  ?" 

Mrs.  Campbell:  "/  am.  Mrs.  Steven- 
son is  bowed  to  the  earth ;  Colonel  Mur- 
phree  is  overjoyed  ;  the  Misses  Ja — " 

Campbell,  putting  his  paper  down : 
"  Look  here,  Amy.  Do  you  know  that 
you  have  one  little  infinitesimal  ewe-lamb 
of  a  foible  ?  You  think  too  much  of  young 
men." 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  Younger  men,  you 
mean.  And  you  have  a  multitude  of  per- 
fectly mammoth  peccadilloes.  You  in- 
terrupt." She  goes  on  opening  and 
reading  her  letters.  "  Well,  I  didn't  ex- 


pect  the  Macklines  could ;  but  everybody 
seems  to  be  coming." 

Campbell :  "  You  pay  them  too  much 
attention  altogether.  It  spoils  them  ;  and 
one  of  these  days  you'll  be  getting  some 
of  them  in  love  with  you,  and  then  what 
will  you  do  ?" 

Mrs.  Campbell,  with  affected  distrac- 
tion :  "  What  are  you  talking  about  ?  I'd 
refer  them  to  you,  and  you  could  kill 
them.  I  suppose  you  killed  lots  of  peo- 
ple in  California.  That's  what  you  al- 
ways gave  me  to  understand."  She  goes 
on  with  her  letters. 

Campbell :  "  I  never  killed  a  single  hu- 
man being  that  I  can  remember;  but 
there's  no  telling  what  I  might  do  if  I 
were  provoked.  Now,  there's  that  young 
Welling.  He's  about  here  under  my  feet 
all  the  time  ;  and  he's  got  a  way  lately  of 
coming  in  through  the  window  from  the 
piazza,  that's  very  intimate.  He's  a  nice 
fellow  enough,  and  sweet,  as  you  say.  I 
suppose  he  has  talent,  too,  but  I  never 
heard  that  he  had  set  any  of  the  adjacent 
watercourses  on  fire;  and  I  don't  know 
that  he  could  give  the  Apollo  Belve- 


dere  many  points  in  beauty  and  beat 
him." 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  /  do.  Mrs.  and  Miss 
Rice  accept,  and  her  friend  Miss  Green- 
way,  who's  staying  with  her,  and  —  yes  ! 
here's  one  from  Mr.  Welling !  Oh,  how 
glad  I  am  !  Willis,  dearest,  if  I  could  be 
the  means  of  bringing  those  two  lovely 
young  creatures  together,  I  should  be  so 
happy !  Don't  you  think,  now,  he  is  the 
most  delicate-minded,  truly  refined,  ex- 
quisitely modest  young  fellow  that  ever 
was?"  She  presses  the  unopened  note 
to  her  corsage,  and  leans  eagerly  forward 
entreating  a  sympathetic  acquiescence. 

Campbell :  "  Well,  as  far  as  I  can  re- 
member my  own  youth,  no.  But  what 
does  he  say  ?'' 

Mrs.  Campbell,  regarding  the  letter:  "  I 
haven't  looked  yet.  He  writes  the  most 
characteristic  hand,  for  a  man,  that  I  ever 
saw.  And  he  has  the  divinest  taste  in 
perfumes!  Oh,  I  wonder  what  that  is? 
Like  a  memory — a  regret."  She  presses 
it  repeatedly  to  her  pretty  nose,  in  the 
endeavor  to  ascertain. 

Campbell :  "  Oh,  hello !" 


Mrs.  Campbell,  laughing:  "Willis,  you 
are  delightful.  I  should  like  to  see  you 
really  jealous  once." 

Campbell:  "You  won't,  as  long  as  I 
know  my  own  incomparable  charm.  But 
give  me  that  letter,  Amy,  if  you're  not 
going  to  open  it.  I  want  to  see  whether 
Welling  is  going  to  come." 

Mrs.  Campbell,  fondly:  "Would  you 
really  like  to  open  it?  I've  half  a  mind 
to  let  you,  just  for  a  reward." 

Campbell :  "  Reward !    What  for  ?" 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  Oh,  I  don't  know. 
Being  so  nice." 

Campbell:  "That's  something  I  can't 
help.  It's  no  merit.  Well,  hand  over 
the  letter." 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  I  should  have  thought 
you'd  insist  on  my  opening  it,  after  that." 

Campbell:  "Why?" 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  To  show  your  confi- 
dence." 

Campbell :  "When  I  haven't  got  any?" 

Mrs.  Campbell,  tearing  the  note  open : 
"  Well,  it's  no  use  trying  any  sentiment 
with  you,  or  any  generosity  either.  You're 
always  just  the  same;  a  teasing  joke  is 


your  ideal.  You  can't  imagine  a  woman's 
wanting  to  keep  up  a  little  romance  all 
through;  and  a  character  like  Mr.  Well- 
ing's,  who's  all  chivalry  and  delicacy  and 
deference,  is  quite  beyond  you.  That's 
the  reason  you're  always  sneering  at  him." 

Campbell:  "I'm  not  sneering  at  him, 
my  dear.  I'm  only  afraid  Miss  Rice  isn't 
good  enough  for  him." 

Mrs.  Campbell,  instantly  placated: 
"  Well,  she's  the  only  girl  who's  anywhere 
near  it.  I  don't  say  she's  faultless,  but 
she  has  a  great  deal  of  character,  and 
she's  very  practical ;  just  the  counterpart 
of  his  dreaminess  ;  and  she  is  very,  very 
good-looking,  don't  you  think?" 

Campbell :  "  Her  bang  isn't  so  nice  as 
his." 

Mrs.  Campbell:  "No;  and  aren't  his 
eyes  beautiful  ?  And  that  high,  serious 
look !  And  his  nose  and  chin  are  per- 
fectly divine.  He  looks  like  a  young 
god !" 

Campbell :  "  I  dare  say ;  though  I  never 
saw  an  old  one.  Well,  is  he  coming? 
I'm  not  jealous,  but  I'm  impatient.  Read 
it  out  loud." 

3 


Mrs.  Campbell,  sinking  back  in  her 
chair  for  the  more  luxurious  perusal  of 
the  note :  "  Indeed  I  shall  not."  She 
opens  it  and  runs  it  hastily  through,  with 
various  little  starts,  stares,  frowns,  smiles 
of  arrested  development,  laughs,  and 
cries  :  "  Why— why  !  What  does  it  mean  ? 
Is  he  crazy  ?  Why,  there's  some  mistake. 
No !  It's  his  hand  —  and  here's  his 
name.  I  can't  make  it  out."  She  reads 
it  again  and  again.  "  Why,  it's  perfectly 
bewildering !  Why,  there  must  be  some 
mistake.  He  couldn't  have  meant  it. 
Could  he  have  imagined  ?  Could  he  have 
dared  ?  There  never  has  been  the  slight- 
est thing  that  could  be  tortured  into — 
But  of  course  not.  And  Mr.  Welling, 
of  all  men  !  Oh,  I  can't  understand  it ! 
Oh,  Willis,  Willis,  Willis !  What  does  it 
mean  ?"  She  flings  the  note  wildly  across 
the  table,  and  catching  her  handkerchief 
to  her  face,  falls  back  into  her  chair,  tu- 
multuously  sobbing. 

Campbell,  with  the  calm  of  a  man  ac- 
customed to  emotional  superabundance, 
lifting  the  note  from  the  toast-rack  be- 
fore him  :  "  Well,  let's  see."  He  reads 


aloud  :  "  '  Oh,  my  darling !  How  can  I 
live  till  I  see  you?  I  will  be  there  long 
before  the  hour  !  To  think  of  your  asking 
me !  You  should  have  said,  "  I  permit 
you  to  come,"  and  I  would  have  flown 
from  the  ends  of  the  earth.  The  pres- 
ence of  others  will  be  nothing.  It  will 
be  sweet  to  ignore  them  in  my  heart,  and 
while  I  see  you  moving  among  them,  and 
looking  after  their  pleasure  with  that 
beautiful  thoughtfulness  of  yours,  to 
think,  "She  is  mine,  mine,  mine!" 

"  Oh,  young  lord  lover,  what  sighs  are  those 
For  one  that  can  never  be  thine?" 

I  thank  you,  and  thank  you  a  thousand 
times  over,  for  this  proof  of  your  trust  in 
me,  and  of  your  love  —  our  love.  You 
shall  be  the  sole  keeper  of  our  secret — it 
is  so  sweet  to  think  that  no  one  even  sus- 
pects it! — and  it  shall  live  with  you,  and 
if  you  will,  it  shall  die  with  me.  Forever 
yours,  Arthur  Welling.' "  Campbell  turns 
the  note  over,  and  picking  up  the  envel- 
ope, examines  the  address.  "  Well,  upon 
my  word  !  It's  to  you,  Amy — on  the  out- 


side,  anyway.  What  do  you  suppose  he 
means  ?" 

Mrs.  Campbell,  in  her  handkerchief: 
"  Oh,  I  don't  know ;  I  don't  know  why  he 
should  address  such  language  to  me !" 

Campbell,  recurring  to  the  letter :  "  / 
never  did.  '  Oh,  my  darling — live  till  1 
see  you — ends  of  the  earth — others  will  be 
nothing — beautiful  thoughtfulness — mine, 
mine,  mine  —  our  love  —  sweet  to  think  no 
one  suspects  it— forever  yours'  Amy, 
these  are  pretty  strong  expressions  to  use 
towards  the  wife  of  another,  and  she  a 
married  lady!  I  think  I  had  better  go 
and  solve  that  little  problem  of  how  he 
can  live  till  he  sees  you  by  relieving  him 
of  the  necessity.  It  would  be  disagree- 
able to  him,  but  perhaps  there's  a  social 
duty  involved." 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  Oh,  Willis,  don't  tor- 
ment me !  What  do  you  suppose  it 
means?  Is  it  some  —  mistake?  It's  for 
somebody  else!" 

Campbell :  "  I  don't  see  why  he  should 
have  addressed  it  to  you,  then." 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  But  don't  you  see  ? 
He's  been  writing  to  some  other  person 


at  the  same  time,  and  he's  got  the  an- 
swers mixed — put  them  in  the  wrong  en- 
velopes. Oh  dear !  I  wonder  who  she 
is!" 

Campbell,  studying  her  with  an  air  of 
affected  abstraction :  "  Her  curiosity  gets 
the  better  of  her  anguish.  Look  here, 
Amy !  /  believe  you're  afraid  it's  to  some 
one  else." 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "Willis!" 

Campbell :  "  Yes.  And  before  we  pro- 
ceed any  further  I  must  know  just  what 
you  wrote  to  this  —  this  Mr.  Welling  of 
yours.  Did  you  put  on  R.S.V.P.  ?" 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  Yes ;  and  just  a 
printed  card  like  all  the  rest.  I  did  want 
to  write  him  a  note  in  the  first  person, 
and  urge  him  to  come,  because  I  expected 
Miss  Rice  and  Miss  Greenway  to  help  me 
receive  ;  but  when  I  found  Margaret  had 
promised  Mrs.  Curwen  for  the  next  day, 
I  knew  she  wouldn't  like  to  take  the 
bloom  off  that  by  helping  me  first ;  so  I 
didn't." 

Campbell:  "Didn't  what  ?" 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "Write  to  him.  I  just 
sent  a  card." 


Campbell :  "  Then  these  passionate  ex- 
pressions are  unprovoked,  and  my  duty 
is  clear.  I  must  lose  no  time  in  destroy- 
ing Mr.  Welling.  Do  you  happen  to 
know  where  I  laid  my  revolver  ?" 

Mrs.  Campbell:  "Oh,  Willis,  what  are 
you  going  to  do  ?  You  see  it's  a  mis- 
take." 

Campbell :  "  Mr.  Welling  has  got  to 
prove  that.  I'm  not  going  to  have  young 
men  addressing  my  wife  as  Oh  their  dar- 
ling, without  knowing  the  reason  why. 
It's  a  liberty." 

Mrs.  Campbell,  inclined  to  laugh  :  "  Ah, 
Willis,  how  funny  you  are  !" 

Campbell :  "  Funny  ?     I'm  furious." 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  You  know  you're  not. 
Give  me  the  letter,  dearest.  I  know  it's 
for  Margaret  Rice,  and  I  shall  see  her, 
and  just  feel  round  and  find  out  if  it  isn't 
so,  and — " 

Campbell :  "  What  an  idea !  You  haven't 
the  slightest  evidence  that  it's  for  Miss 
Rice,  or  that  it  isn't  intended  for  you, 
and  it's  my  duty  to  find  out.  And  no- 
body is  authority  but  Mr.  Welling.  And 
I'm  going  to  him  with  the  corpus  delicti" 


Mrs.  Campbell :  "  But  how  can  you  ? 
Remember  how  sensitive,  how  shrinking 
he  is.  Don't,  Willis;  you  mustn't.  It  will 
kill  him !" 

Campbell :  "  Well,  that  may  save  me 
considerable  bother.  If  he  will  simply 
die  of  himself,  I  can't  ask  anything  bet- 
ter." He  goes  on  eating  his  break- 
fast. 

Mrs.  Campbell,  admiring  him  across 
the  table  :  "  Oh,  Willis,  how  perfectly  de- 
lightful you  are !" 

Campbell :  "  I  know  ;  but  why  ?" 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  Why,  taking  it  in  the 
nice,  sensible  way  you  do.  Now,  some 
husbands  would  be  so  stupid  !  Of  course 
you  couldn't  think — you  couldn't  dream — 
that  the  letter  was  really  for  me  ;  and  yet 
you  might  behave  very  disagreeably,  and 
make  me  very  unhappy,  if  you  were  not 
just  the  lovely,  kind  -  hearted,  magnani- 
mous— " 

Campbell,  looking  up  from  his  coffee : 
"  Oh,  hello !" 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  Yes ;  that  is  what  took 
my  fancy  in  you,  Willis  :  that  generosity, 
that  real  gentleness,  in  spite  of  the  brusque 


. 


way  you  have.  Refinement  of  the  heart, 
/call  it." 

Campbell :  "  Amy,  what  are  you  after  ?" 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  We've  been  married 
a  whole  year  now — " 

Campbell :  "  Longer,  isn't  it?" 

Mrs.  Campbell:  "  —  And  I  haven't 
known  you  do  an  unkind  thing,  a  brutal 
thing." 

Campbell:  "Well,  I  understand  the 
banging  around  hardly  ever  begins  much 
under  two  years." 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  How  sweet  you  are ! 
And  you're  so  funny  always !" 

Campbell :  "  Come,  come,  Amy ;  get 
down  to  business.  What  is  it  you  do 
want  ?" 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  You  won't  go  and 
tease  that  poor  boy  about  his  letter,  will 
you  ?  Just  hand  it  to  him,  and  say  you 
suppose  here  is  something  that  has  come 
into  your  possession  by  mistake,  and  that 
you  wish  to  restore  it  to  him,  and  then — 
just  run  off." 

Campbell :  "  With  my  parasol  in  one 
hand,  and  my  skirts  caught  up  in  the 
other?" 


Mrs.  Campbell :  "  Oh,  how  good  !  Of 
course  I  was  imagining  how  /  should  do 
it." 

Campbell :  "  Well,  a  man  can't  do  it 
that  way.  He  would  look  silly."  He 
rises  from  the  table,  and  comes  and  puts 
his  arm  round  her  shoulders.  "  But  you 
needn't  be  afraid  of  my  being  rough 
with  him.  Of  course  it's  a  mistake ;  but 
he's  a  fellow  who  will  enter  into  the  joke 
too ;  he'll  enjoy  it ;  he'll — "  He  merges 
his  sentence  in  a  kiss  on  her  upturned 
lips,  and  she  clings  to  his  hand  with  her 
right,  pressing  it  fondly  to  her  cheek. 
"  I  shall  do  it  in  a  man's  way;  but  I  guess 
you'll  approve  of  it  quite  as  much." 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  I  know  I  shall.  That's 
what  I  like  about  you,  Willis :  your  being 
so  helplessly  a  man  always." 

Campbell :  "  Well,  that's  what  attracted 
me  to  you,  Amy;  your  manliness." 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  And  I  liked  your 
finesse.  You  are  awfully  inventive,  Willis. 
Why,  Willis,  I've  just  thought  of  some- 
thing. Oh,  it  would  be  so  good  if  you 
only  would !" 

Campbell :  "  Would  what?" 

4 


Mrs.  Campbell :  "  Invent  something 
now  to  get  us  out  of  the  scrape." 

Campbell :  "  What  a  brilliant  idea !  Fm 
not  in  any  scrape.  And  as  for  Mr.  Well- 
ing, I  don't  see  how  you  could  help  him 
out  unless  you  sent  this  letter  to  Miss 
Rice,  and  asked  her  to  send  yours  back — " 

Mrs.  Campbell,  springing  to  her  feet : 
"  Willis,  you  are  inspired  !  Oh,  how  per- 
fectly delightful !  And  it's  so  delicate  of 
you  to  think  of  that !  I  will  just  enclose 
his  note  —  give  it  here,  Willis  —  and  he 
need  never  know  that  it  ever  went  to  the 
wrong  address.  Oh,  I  always  felt  that 
you  were  truly  refined,  anyway."  He 
passively  yields  the  letter,  and  she  whirls 
away  to  a  writing  -  desk  in  the  corner  of 
the  room.  "  Now,  I'll  just  keep  a  copy 
of  the  letter— for  a  joke ;  I  think  I've  a 
perfect  right  to"  —  scribbling  furiously 
away — "and  then  I'll  match  the  paper 
with  ao  envelope — I  can  do  that  perfect- 
ly— and  then  I'll  just  imitate  his  hand — 
such  fun  ! — and  send  it  flying  over  to  Mar- 
garet Rice.  Oh,  how  good  !  Touch  the 
bell,  Willis ;"  and  then — as  the  serving- 
maid  app*»rs  —  "  Yes,  Jane !  Run  right 


across  the  lawn  to  Mrs.  Rice's,  and  give 
this  letter  for  Miss  Margaret,  and  say  it 
was  left  here  by  mistake.  Well,  it  was, 
Willis.  Fly,  Jane!  Oh,  Willis,  love! 
Isn't  it  perfect !  Of  course  she'll  have 
got  his  formal  reply  to  my  invitation,  and 
be  all  mixed  up  by  it,  and  now  when  this 
note  comes,  she'll  see  through  it  all  in  an 
instant,  and  it  will  be  such  a  relief  to  her ; 
and  oh,  she'll  think  that  he's  directed  both 
the  letters  to  her  because  he  couldn't 
think  of  any  one  else!  Isn't  it  lovely? 
Just  like  anything  that's  nice,  it's  ten 
times  as  nice  as  you  expected  it  to  be ; 
and — " 

Campbell:  "But  hold  on,  Amy!"  He 
lifts  a  note  from  the  desk.  "  You've  sent 
your  copy.  Here's  the  original  now. 
She'll  think  you've  been  playing  some 
joke  on  her." 

Mrs.  Campbell,  clutching  the  letter  from 
him,  and  scanning  it  in  a  daze  :  "  What ! 
Oh,  my  goodness  !  It  is  !  I  have  !  Oh, 
I  shall  die  !  Run  !  Call  her  back  !  Shriek, 
Willis !"  They  rush  to  the  window  to- 
gether. "  No,  no !  It's  too  late  !  She's 
given  it  to  their  man,  and  now  nothing 


can  save  me  !  Oh,  Willis !  Willis  !  Wil- 
lis !  This  is  all  your  fault,  with  that  fatal 
suggestion  of  yours.  Oh,  if  you  had  only 
left  it  to  me  I  never  should  have  got  into 
such  a  scrape !  She  will  think  now  that 
I've  been  trying  to  hoax  her,  and  she's 
perfectly  implacable  at  the  least  hint  of  a 
liberty,  and  she'll  be  ready  to  kill  me.  I 
don't  know  what  she  won't  do.  Oh,  Wil- 
lis, how  could  you  get  me  into  this !" 

Campbell,  irately :  "Get  you  into  this ! 
Now,  Amy,  this  is  a  little  too  much.  You 
got  yourself  into  it.  You  urged  me  to 
think  of  something — " 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  Well,  do,  Willis,  do 
think  of  something,  or  I  shall  go  mad  ! 
Help  me,  Willis  !  Don't  be  so  heartless — 
so  unfeeling." 

Campbell :  "  There's  only  one  thing 
now,  and  that  is  to  make  a  clean  breast 
of  it  to  Welling,  and  get  him  to  help  us 
out.  A  word  from  him  can  make  every- 
thing right,  and  we  can't  take  a  step  with- 
out him  ;  we  can't  move !" 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  I  can't  let  you.  Oh, 
isn't  it  horrible !" 

Campbell :  "  Yes ;  a  nice  thing  is  al- 


ways  ten  times  nicer  than  you  expected  it 
to  be !" 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  Oh,  how  can  you 
stand  there  mocking  me  ?  Why  don't  you 
go  to  him  at  once,  and  tell  him  the  whole 
thing,  and  beg  him,  implore  him,  to  help 
us?" 

Campbell :  "  Why,  you  just  told  me  I 
mustn't !" 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "You  didn't  expect  me 
to  say  you  might,  did  you?  Oh,  how 
cruel !"  She  whirls  out  of  the  room,  and 
Campbell  stands  in  a  daze,  in  which  he  is 
finally  aware  of  Mr.  Arthur  Welling,  seen 
through  the  open  window,  on  the  veran- 
da without.  Mr.  Welling,  with  a  terri- 
fied and  furtive  air,  seems  to  be  fixed  to 
the  spot  where  he  stands. 


II 

MR.  WELLING;  MR.  CAMPBELL 

Campbell:  "Why,  Welling,  what  the 
devil  are  you  doing  there  ?" 
Welling :  "  Trying  to  get  away." 


Campbell :  "  To  get  away  ?  But  you 
sha'n't,  man !  I  won't  let  you.  I  was 
just  going  to  see  you.  How  long  have 
you  been  there  ?" 

Welling :  "  I've  just  come." 

Campbell :  "  What  have  you  heard  ?" 

Welling:  "Nothing  —  nothing.  I  was 
knocking  on  the  window-casing  to  make 
you  hear,  but  you  seemed  preoccupied." 

Campbell :  "  Preoccupied  !  convulsed  ! 
cataclysmed  !  Look  here  :  we're  in  a  box, 
Welling.  And  you've  got  us  into  it." 
He  pulls  Welling's  note  out  of  his  pocket, 
where  he  has  been  keeping  his  hand  on 
it,  and  pokes  it  at  him.  "  Is  that  yours  ?" 

Welling,  examining  it  with  bewilder- 
ment mounting  into  anger :  "  It's  mine ; 
yes.  May  I  ask,  Mr.  Campbell,  how  you 
came  to  have  this  letter?" 

Campbell:  "May  I  ask,  Mr.  Welling, 
how  you  came  to  write  such  a  letter  to 
my  wife  ?" 

Welling:  "To  your  wife?  To  Mrs. 
Campbell  ?  I  never  wrote  any  such  let- 
ter to  her." 

Campbell :  "  Then  you  addressed  it  to 
her." 


Welling  :  "  Impossible !" 

Campbell :  "  Impossible  ?  I  think  I  can 
convince  you,  much  as  I  regret  to  do  so." 
He  makes  search  about  Mrs.  Campbell's 
letters  on  the  table  first,  and  then  on  the 
writing-desk.  "We  have  the  envelope. 
It  came  amongst  a  lot  of  letters,  and 
there's  no  mistake  about  it."  He  con- 
tinues to  toss  the  letters  about,  and  then 
desists.  "  But  no  matter ;  I  can't  find  it ; 
Amy's  probably  carried  it  off  with  her. 
There's  no  mistake  about  it.  I  was  going 
to  have  some  fun  with  you  about  it,  but 
now  you  can  have  some  fun  with  me. 
Whom  did  you  send  Mrs.  Campbell's  let- 
ter to  ?" 

Welling :  "  Mrs.  Campbell's  letter  ?" 

Campbell :  "  Oh,  pshaw  !  your  accept- 
ance or  refusal,  or  whatever  it  was,  of  her 
garden  fandango.  You  got  an  invita- 
tion?" 

Welling :  "  Of  course." 

Campbell :  "  And  you  wrote  to  accept 
it  or  decline  it  at  the  same  time  that  you 
wrote  this  letter  here  to  some  one  else. 
And  you  addressed  two  envelopes  before 
you  put  the  notes  in  either.  And  then 


you  put  them  into  the  wrong  envelopes. 
And  you  sent  this  note  to  my  wife,  and 
the  other  note  to  the  other  person — " 

Welling :  "  No,  I  didn't  do  anything  of 
the  kind !"  He  regards  Campbell  with 
amazement,  and  some  apparent  doubt  of 
his  sanity. 

Campbell :  "  Well,  then,  Mr.  Welling, 
will  you  allow  me  to  ask  what  the  deuce 
you  did  do  ?" 

Welling :  "  I  never  wrote  to  Mrs.  Camp- 
bell at  all.  I  thought  I  would  just  drop 
in  and  tell  her  why  I  couldn't  come.  It 
seemed  so  formal  to  write." 

Campbell :  "  Then  will  you  be  kind 
enough  to  tell  me  whom  you  did  write  to  ?" 

Welling :  "  No,  Mr.  Campbell,  I  can't 
do  that." 

Campbell :  "  You  write  such  a  letter  as 
that  to  my  wife,  and  then  won't  tell  me 
whom  it's  to  ?" 

Welling:  "No!  And  you've  no  right 
to  ask  me." 

Campbell :  "  I've  no  right  to  ask  you  ?" 

Welling :  "  No.  When  I  tell  you  that 
the  note  wasn't  meant  for  Mrs.  Campbell, 
that's  enough." 


Campbell :  "  I'll  be  judge  of  that,  Mr. 
Welling.  You  say  that  you  were  not 
writing  two  notes  at  the  time,  and  that 
you  didn't  get  the  envelopes  mixed. 
Then,  if  the  note  wasn't  meant  for  my 
wife,  why  did  you  address  it  to  her  ?" 

Welling:  "That's  what  I  can't  tell; 
that's  what  I  don't  know.  It's  as  great 
a  mystery  to  me  as  it  is  to  you.  I  can 
only  conjecture  that  when  I  was  writing 
that  address  I  was  thinking  of  coming  to 
explain  to  Mrs.  Campbell  that  I  was  go- 
ing away  to-day,  and  shouldn't  be  back 
till  after  her  party.  It  was  too  compli- 
cated to  put  in  a  note  without  seeming 
to  give  my  regrets  too  much  importance. 
And  I  suppose  that  when  I  was  address- 
ing the  note  that  I  did  write  I  put  Mrs. 
Campbell's  name  on  because  I  had  her  so 
much  in  mind." 

Campbell,  with  irony :  "  Oh !" 

5 


Ill 

MRS.  CAMPBELL;  MR.  WELLING;   MR. 
CAMPBELL 

Mrs.  Campbell,  appearing  through  the 
portiere  that  separates  the  breakfast- 
room  from  the  parlor  beyond  :  "  Yes  !" 
She  goes  up  and  gives  her  hand  to  Mr. 
Welling  with  friendly  frankness.  "And 
it  was  very  nice  of  you  to  think  of  me  at 
such  a  time,  when  you  ought  to  have 
been  thinking  of  some  one  else." 

Welling,  with  great  relief  and  effusion  : 
"  Oh,  thank  you,  Mrs.  Campbell !  I  was 
sure  you  would  understand.  You  couldn't 
have  imagined  me  capable  of  addressing 
such  language  to  yo\i ;  of  presuming — 
of—" 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  Of  course  not !  And 
Willis  has  quite  lost  his  head.  I  saw  in 
an  instant  just  how  it  was.  I'm  so  sorry 
you  can't  come  to  my  party — " 

Campbell :  "  Amy,  have  you  been  eaves- 
dropping ?" 


Mrs.  Campbell :  "  There  was  no  need 
of  eavesdropping.  I  could  have  heard 
you  out  at  Loon  Rock  Light,  you  shouted 
so.  But  as  soon  as  I  recognized  Mr. 
Welling's  voice  I  came  to  the  top  of  the 
stairs  and  listened.  I  was  sure  you  would 
do  something  foolish.  But  now  I  think 
we  had  better  make  a  clean  breast  of  it, 
and  tell  Mr.  Welling  just  what  we've  done. 
We  knew,  of  course,  the  letter  wasn't  for 
me,  and  we  thought  we  wouldn't  vex  you 
about  it,  but  just  send  it  to  the  one  it  was 
meant  for.  We've  surprised  your  secret, 
Mr.  Welling,  though  we  didn't  intend  to ; 
but  if  you'll  accept  our  congratulations — 
under  the  rose,  of  course — we  won't  let  it 
go  any  further.  It  does  seem  so  perfect- 
ly ideal,  and  I  feel  like  saying,  Bless  you, 
my  children !  You've  been  in  and  out 
here  so  much  this  summer,  and  I  feel 
just  like  an  elder  sister  to  Margaret." 

Welling :  "  Margaret  ?" 

Mrs.  Campbell:  "Well,  Miss  Rice, 
then—" 

Welling :  "  Miss  Rice  ?" 

Mrs.  Campbell,  with  dignity:  "Oh,  I'm 
sorry  if  we  seem  to  presume  upon  our  ac- 


quaintance  with  the  matter.  We  couldn't 
very  well  help  knowing  it  under  the  cir- 
cumstances." 

Welling  :  "  Certainly,  certainly  —  of 
course :  I  don't  mind  that  at  all :  I  was 
going  to  tell  you,  anyway :  that  was  part- 
ly the  reason  why  I  came  instead  of  writ- 
ing—" 

Campbell,  in  an  audible  soliloquy :  "  I 
supposed  he  had  written." 

Mrs.  Campbell,  intensely  :  "  Don't  in- 
terrupt, Willis !  Well  ?" 

Welling :  "  But  I  don't  see  what  Miss 
Rice  has  to  do  with  it." 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  You  don't  see  !  Why, 
isn't  Margaret  Rice  the  one — " 

Welling :  "  What  one  ?" 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  The  one  that  you're 
engaged — the  one  that  the  note  was  real- 
ly for?" 

Welling :  "  No  !  What  an  idea !  Miss 
Rice  ?  Not  for  an  instant !  It's — it's  her 
friend  —  Miss  Greenway — who's  staying 
with  her — " 

Mrs.  Campbell,  in  a  very  awful  voice: 
"Willis!  Get  me  some  water  —  some 
wine!  Help  me  !  Ah  !  Don't  touch  me ! 


It  was  you, you  who  did  it  all!  Oh,  now 
what  shall  I  do  ?"  She  drops  her  head 
upon  Campbell's  shoulder,  while  Welling 
watches  them  in  stupefaction. 

Campbell :  "  It's  about  a  million  times 
nicer  than  we  could  have  expected. 
That's  the  way  with  a  nice  thing  when 
you  get  it  started.  Well,  young  man, 
you're  done  for;  and  so  are  we,  for  that 
matter.  We  supposed  that  note  which 
you  addressed  to  Mrs.  Campbell  was  in- 
tended for  Miss  Rice — " 

Welling :  "  Ho,  ho,  ho !  Ah,  ha,  ha ! 
Miss  Rice  ?  Ha—" 

Campbell :  "  I'm  glad  you  like  it. 
You'll  enjoy  the  rest  of  it  still  better.  We 
thought  it  was  for  Miss  Rice,  and  my 
wife  neatly  imitated  your  hand  on  an  en- 
velope and  sent  it  over  to  her  just  before 
you  came  in.  Funny,  isn't  it  ?  Laugh 
on  !  Don't  mind  us  /" 

Welling,  aghast :  "  Thought  my  note 
was  for  Miss  Rice?  Sent  it  to  her? 
Gracious  powers  !"  They  all  stand  for 
a  moment  in  silence,  and  then  Welling 
glances  at  the  paper  in  his  hand.  "  But 
there's  some  mistake.  You  haven't  sent 


my  note  to  Miss  Rice :  here  it  is 
now !" 

Campbell :  "  Oh,  that's  the  best  of  the 
joke.  Mrs.  Campbell  took  a  copy" — Mrs. 
Campbell  moans — "she  meant  to  have 
some  fun  with  you  about  it,  and  it's  ten 
times  as  much  fun  as  /  expected  ;  and  in 
her  hurry  she  sent  off  her  copy  and  kept 
the  original.  Perhaps  that  makes  it  bet- 
ter." 

Mrs.  Campbell,  detaching  herself  from 
him  and  confronting  Mr.  Welling:  "  No  ; 
worse  !  She'll  think  we've  been  trying  to 
hoax  her,  and  she'll  be  in  a  towering 
rage;  and  she'll  show  the  note  to  Miss 
Greenway,  and  you'll  be  ruined.  Oh 
poor  Mr.  Welling!  Oh,  what  a  fatal, 
fatal — mix!"  She  abandons  herself  in  an 
attitude  of  extreme  desperation  upon  a 
chair,  while  the  men  stare  at  her,  till 
Campbell  breaks  the  spell  by  starting  for- 
ward and  ringing  the  bell  on  the  table. 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  What  are  you  doing, 
Willis  ?" 

Campbell :  "  Ringing  for  Jane."  As 
Jane  appears:  "  Did  you  give  Miss  Rice 
the  note  ?" 


IV 

JANE;  MRS.  CAMPBELL;  WELLING; 
CAMPBELL 

Jane :  "  No,  sir;  I  gave  it  to  the  man. 
He  said  he  would  give  it  to  Miss  Rice." 

Campbell :  "Then  it's  all  up.  If  by  any 
chance  she  hadn't  got  it,  Amy,  you  might 
have  sent  over  for  it,  and  said  there  was 
a  mistake." 

Jane:  "He  said  Miss  Rice  was  out 
driving  with  Miss  Green  way  in  her  phae- 
ton, but  they  expected  her  back  every 
minute." 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  Oh,  my  goodness ! 
And  you  didn't  come  to  tell  me?  Oh,  if 
we  had  only  known  !  We've  lost  our  only 
chance,  Willis." 

Jane  :  "  I  did  come  and  knock  on  your 
door,  ma'am,  but  I  couldn't  make  you 
hear." 

Campbell :  "  There's  still  a  chance. 
Perhaps  she  hasn't  got  back  yet." 

Jane  :  "  I  know  she  ain't,  sir.    I've  been 


watching  for  her  ever  since.  I  can  al- 
ways see  them  come,  from  the  pantry 
window." 

Mrs.  Campbell:  "Well,  then,  don't 
stand  there  talking,  but  run  at  once  !  Oh, 
Willis  !  Never  tell  me  again  that  there's 
no  such  thing  as  an  overruling  provi- 
dence. Oh,  what  an  interposition  !  Oh, 
I  can  never  be  grateful  and  humble 
enough —  Goodness  me,  Jane  !  why  don't 
you  go  ?" 

Jane :  "  Go  where,  ma'am  ?  I  don't  know 
what  you  want  me  to  do.  I'm  willing 
enough  to  do  anything  if  I  know  what  it 
is,  but  it's  pretty  hard  to  do  things  if  you 
don't." 

Campbell:  "You're  perfectly  right, 
Jane.  Mrs.  Campbell  wants  you  to  tele- 
graph yourself  over  to  Mrs.  Rice's,  and 
say  to  her  that  the  letter  you  left  for 
Miss  Rice  is  not  for  her,  but  another 
lady,  and  Mrs.  Campbell  sent  it  by  mis- 
take. Get  it  and  bring  it  back  here, 
dead  or  alive,  even  if  Mrs.  Rice  has  to 
pass  over  your  mangled  body  in  the  at- 
tempt." 

Jane,  tasting  the  joke,  while  Mrs.  Camp- 


bell  gasps  in  ineffective  efforts  to  rein- 
force her  husband's  instructions  :  "  I  will 
that,  sir." 


V 

MRS.  CAMPBELL;   WELLING;    CAMPBELL 

Campbell :  "  And  now,  while  we're  wait- 
ing, let's  all  join  hands  and  dance  round 
the  table.  You're  saved,  Welling.  So 
are  you,  Amy.  And  so  am  I  —  which  is 
more  to  the  point." 

Mrs.  Campbell,  gayly :  "  Dansons !"  She 
extends  her  hands  to  the  gentlemen,  and 
as  they  circle  round  the  breakfast-table 
she  sings, 

"  Sur  le  pont  d' Avignon, 
Tout  le  monde  y  dansc  en  rond" 

She  frees  her  hands  and  courtesies  to  one 
gentleman  and  the  other. 

"  Les  belles  dames  font  comme  fa ; 
Les  beaux  messieurs  font  comme  fa." 

Then  she  catches  hands  with  them  again, 

6 


and  they  circle  round  the  table  as  before, 
singing, 

"  Sur  If  pent  d' Avignon, 
Tout  le  monde  y  danse  en  rond. 

Oh,  dear!      Stop!      I'm  dizzy — I   shall 
fall."     She  spins  into  a  chair,  while  the 
men  continue  solemnly  circling  by  them- 
selves. 
Campbell :  "  It  is  a  sacred  dance : 

"  Sur  le  pont  d' Avignon — " 
Welling :  "  It's  an  expiation : 
"  Tout  le  monde  y  danse  en  rond" 

Mrs.  Campbell,  springing  from  her  chair 
and  running  to  the  window :  "  Stop,  you 
crazy  things  !  Here  comes  Jane  !  Come 
right  in  here,  Jane !  Did  you  get  it  ?  Give 
it  to  me,  Jane  !" 

Welling :  "  /think  it  belongs  to  me,  Mrs. 
Campbell." 

Campbell :  "  Jane,  I  am  master  of  the 
house— nominally.  Give  me  the  letter." 


VI 

JAN  El  MRS.  CAMPBELL;  WELLING; 
CAMPBELL 

Jane,  entering,  blown  and  panting, 
through  the  open  window :  "  Oh,  how  I 
did  run — " 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  Yes,  yes  !  But  the 
letter — " 

Welling :  "  Did  you  get  it  ?" 

Campbell :  "  Where  is  it  ?" 

Jane,  fanning  herself  with  her  apron : 
"  I  can't  hardly  get  my  breath — " 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  Had  she  got  back  ?" 

Jane  :  "  No,  ma'am." 

Campbell :  "  Did  Mrs.  Rice  object  to 
giving  it  up  ?" 

Jane  :  "  No,  sir." 

Welling:  "Then  it's  all  right?" 

Jane  :  "  No,  sir.     All  wrong." 

Welling:  "All  wrong?" 

Campbell :  "  How  all  wrong  ?" 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  What's  all  wrong, 
Jane  ?" 


Jane :  "  Please,  ma'am,  may  I  have  a 
drink  of  water  ?  I'm  so  dry  I  can't  speak." 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  Yes,  certainly." 

Campbell :  "  Of  course." 

Welling :  "  Here."  They  all  pour  glass- 
es of  water  and  press  them  to  her  lips. 

Jane,  pushing  the  glasses  away,  and  es- 
caping from  the  room :  "  They  thought 
Mrs.  Campbell  was  in  a  great  hurry  for 
Miss  Rice  to  have  the  letter,  and  they 
sent  off  the  man  with  it  to  meet  her." 


VII 

MRS.    CAMPBELL;   WELLING;  CAMPBELL 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  Oh,  merciful  good- 
ness !" 

Welling  :  "  Gracious  powers !" 

Campbell :  "  Another  overruling  provi- 
dence. Now  you  are  in  for  it,  my  boy ! 
So  is  Amy.  And  so  am  I — which  is  still 
more  to  the  point." 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  Well,  now,  what  shall 
we  do  ?" 

Campbell :  "  All  that  we  can  do  now  is 


to  await  developments :  they'll  come  fast 
enough.  Miss  Rice  will  open  her  letter 
as  soon  as  she  gets  it,  and  she  won't  un- 
derstand it  in  the  least ;  how  could  she 
understand  a  letter  in  your  handwriting, 
with  Welling's  name  signed  to  it  ?  She'll 
show  it  to  Miss  Greenway — " 

Welling :  "  Oh,  don't  say  that !" 

Campbell :  "  —  Greenway ;  and  Miss 
Greenway  won't  know  what  to  make  of  it 
either.  But  she's  the  kind  of  girl  who'll 
form  some  lively  conjectures  when  she 
reads  that  letter.  In  the  first  place,  she'll 
wonder  how  Mr.  Welling  happens  to  be 
writing  to  Miss  Rice  in  that  affectionate 
strain — " 

Mrs.  Campbell,  in  an  appealing  shriek : 
"  Willis !" 

Campbell :  "  — And  she  naturally  won't 
believe  he's  done  it.  But  then,  when 
Miss  Rice  tells  her  it's  your  handwriting, 
Amy,  she'll  think  that  you  and  Miss  Rice 
have  been  having  your  jokes  about  Mr. 
Welling  ;  and  she'll  wonder  what  kind  of 
person  you  are,  anyway,  to  make  free  with 
a  young  man's  name  that  way." 

Welling :  "  Oh,  I  assure  you  that  she 


admires  Mrs.  Campbell  more  than  any- 
body." 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  Don't  try  to  stop 
him;  he's  fiendish  when  he  begins  teas- 
ing." 

Campbell :  "  Oh,  well !  If  she  admires 
Mrs.  Campbell  and  confides  in  you,  then 
the  whole  affair  is  very  simple.  All  you've 
got  to  do  is  to  tell  her  that  after  you'd 
written  her  the  original  of  that  note,  your 
mind  was  so  full  of  Mrs.  Campbell  and 
her  garden-party  that  you  naturally  ad- 
dressed it  to  her.  And  then  Mrs.  Camp- 
bell can  cut  in  and  say  that  when  she 
got  the  note  she  knew  it  wasn't  for  her, 
but  she  never  dreamed  of  your  caring  for 
Miss  Greenway,  and  was  so  sure  it  was 
for  Miss  Rice  that  she  sent  her  a  copy  of 
it.  That  will  make  it  >all  right  and  per- 
fectly agreeable  to  every  one  concerned." 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  And  I  can  say  that  I 
sent  it  at  your  suggestion,  and  then,  in- 
stead of  trying  to  help  me  out  of  the  aw- 
ful, awful— box,  you  took  a  cruel  pleasure 
in  teasing  me  about  it !  But  I  shall  not 
say  anything,  for  I  shall  not  see  them.  I 
will  leave  you  to  receive  them  and  make 


the  best  of  it.  Don't  try  to  stop  me, 
Willis."  She  threatens  him  with  her  fan 
as  he  step§  forward  to  intercept  her  es- 
cape. 

Campbell :  "  No,  no  !  Listen,  Amy  ! 
You  must  stay  and  see  those  ladies.  It's 
all  well  enough  to  leave  it  to  me,  but  what 
about  poor  Welling  ?  He  hasn't  done  any- 
thing— except  cause  the  whole  trouble." 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  I  am  very  sorry,  but  I 
can't  help  it.  I  must  go."  Campbell 
continues  to  prevent  her  flight,  and  she 
suddenly  whirls  about  and  makes  a  dash 
at  the  open  window.  "  Oh,  very  well, 
then !  I  can  get  out  this  way."  At  the 
same  moment  Miss  Rice  and  Miss  Green- 
way  appear  before  the  window  on  the 
piazza.  "Ugh!  E  —  e  —  e!  How  you 
frightened  me !  But — but  come  in.  So 
gl — glad  to  see  you  !  And  you — you  too, 
Miss  Greenway.  Here's  Mr.  Welling. 
He's  been  desolating  us  with  a  story 
about  having  to  be  away  over  my  party, 
and  just  getting  back  for  Mrs.  Curwen's. 
Isn't  it  too  bad?  Can't  some  of  you 
young  ladies — or  all  of  you — make  him 
stay  ?"  As  Mrs.  Campbell  talks  on,  she 


readjusts  her  spirit  more  and  more  to  the 
exigency,  and  subdues  her  agitation  to  a 
surface  of  the  sweetest  politeness. 


VIII 

MISS     RICE,     MISS     GREENWAY,    and     the 
OTHERS 

Miss  Rice,  entering  with  an  unopened 
letter  in  her  hand,  which  she  extends  to 
Mrs.  Campbell :  "  What  in  the  world  does 
it  all  mean,  Mrs.  Campbell,  your  sending 
your  letters  flying  after  me  at  this  rate  ?" 

Mrs.  Campbell,  with  a  gasp :  "  My  let- 
ters?" She  mechanically  receives  the 
extended  note,  and  glances  at  the  super- 
scription :  "  Mrs.  Willis  Campbell.  Ah !" 
She  hands  it  quickly  to  her  husband,  who 
reads  the  address  with  a  similar  cry. 

Campbell :  "  Well,  well,  Amy !  This  is 
a  pretty  good  joke  on  you.  You've  sealed 
up  one  of  your  own  notes,  and  sent  it  to 
Miss  Rice.  Capital !  Ah,  ha,  ha  !" 

Mrs.  Campbell,  with  hysterical  rapture : 
"  Oh,  how  delicious  !  What  a  ridiculous 


blunder  !  I  don't  wonder  you  were  puz- 
zled, Margaret." 

Welling :  "  What !  Sent  her  your  own 
letter,  addressed  to  yourself  ?" 

Mrs.  Campbell :  "  Yes.  Isn't  it  amus- 
ing ?" 

Welling :  "  The  best  thing  I  ever  heard 
of." 

Miss  Rice:  "Yes.  And  if  you  only 
knew  what  agonies  of  curiosity  Miss 
Greenway  and  I  had  suffered,  wanting  to 
open  it  and  read  it  anyway,  in  spite  of  all 
the  decencies,  I  think  you  would  read  it 
to  us." 

Campbell :  "  Or  at  least  give  Miss  Rice 
her  own  letter.  What  in  the  world  did 
you  do  with  that  ?" 

Mrs.  Campbell:  "Put  it  in  my  desk, 
where  I  thought  I  put  mine.  But  never 
mind  it  now.  I  can  tell  you  what  was  in 
it  just  as  well.  Come  in  here  a  moment, 
Margaret."  She  leads  the  way  to  the 
parlor,  whither  Miss  Rice  follows. 

Miss  Greenway,  poutingly :  "  Oh,  mayn't 
I  know,  too  ?  I  think  that's  hardly  fair, 
Mrs.  Campbell." 

Mrs.   Campbell:  "No;  or — Margaret 


may  tell  you  afterwards ;  or  Mr.  Welling 
may,  now  /" 

Miss  Greenway :  "  How  very  formida- 
ble !" 

Mrs.  Campbell,  over  her  shoulder,  on 
going  out :  "  Willis,  bring  me  the  refus- 
als and  acceptances,  won't  you?  They're 
up-stairs." 

Campbell :  "  Delighted  to  be  of  any  ser- 
vice." Behind  Miss  Greenway 's  back  he 
dramatizes  over  her  head  to  Welling 
his  sense  of  his  own  escape,  and  his  com- 
passion for  the  .fellow -man  whom  he 
leaves  in  the  toils  of  fate. 


IX 

MISS  GREENWAY;   "MR.   WELLING 

Welling :  "  Nelly !"  He  approaches,  and 
timidly  takes  her  hand. 

Miss  Greenway:  "Arthur!  That  let- 
ter was  addressed  in  your  handwriting. 
Will  you  please  explain  ?" 

Welling :  "  Why,  it's  very  simple — that 
is,  it's  the  most  difficult  thing  in  the 


world.  Nelly,  can  you  believe  anything 
I  say  to  you  ?" 

Miss  Green  way :  "  What  nonsense !  Of 
course  I  can — if  you're  not  too  long  about 
it." 

Welling :  "  Well,  then,  the  letter  in  that 
envelope  was  one  I  wrote  to  Mrs.  Camp- 
bell— or  the  copy  of  one.'' 

Miss  Greenway :  "  The  copy  ?' 

Welling  :  "  But  let  me  explain.  You 
see,  when  I  got  your  note  asking  me  to 
be  sure  and  come  to  Mrs.  Curwen's — " 

Miss  Greenway:  "Yes?" 

Welling :  " — I  had  just  received  an  in- 
vitation from  Mrs.  Campbell  for  her  gar- 
den-party, and  I  sat  down  and  wrote  to 
you,  and  concluded  I'd  step  over  and  tell 
her  why  I  couldn't  come,  and  with  that  in 
mind  I  addressed  your  letter — the  one  I'd 
written  you — to  her." 

Miss  Greenway:  "With  my  name  in- 
side ?" 

Welling :  "  No ;  I  merely  called  you 
'  darling ';  and  when  Mrs.  Campbell 
opened  it  she  saw  it  couldn't  be  for  her, 
and  she  took  it  into  her  head  it  must  be 
for  Miss  Rice." 


MissGreenway:  "  For  Margaret  ?  What 
an  idea !  But  why  did  she  put  your  en- 
velope on  it  ?" 

Welling:  "She  made  a  copy,  for  the 
joke  of  it ;  and  then,  in  her  hurry,  she  en- 
closed that  in  my  envelope,  and  kept  the 
original  and  the  envelope  she'd  addressed 
to  Miss  Rice,  and — and  that's  all." 

Miss  Greenway :  "  What  a  perfectly  de- 
lightful muddle  !  And  how  shall  we  get 
out  of  it  with  Margaret  ?" 

Welling:  "With  Margaret?  I  don't 
care  for  her.  It's  you  that  I  want  to  get 
out  of  it  with.  And  you  do  believe  me — 
you  do  forgive  me,  Nelly  ?" 

Miss  Greenway  :  "  For  what  ?" 

Welling:  "For — for —  I  don't  know 
what  for.  But  I  thought  you'd  be  so 
vexed." 

Miss  Greenway:  "I  shouldn't  have 
liked  you  to  send  a  letter  addressed  dar- 
ling to  Mrs.  Curwen  ;  but  Mrs.  Campbell 
is  different." 

Welling :  "  Oh,  how  archangelically  sen- 
sible !  How  divine  of  you  to  take  it  in 
just  the  right  way  !" 

Miss    Greenway:    "Why,    of    course.' 


MR.   WELLING    EXPLAINS. 


How  stupid  I  should  be  to  take  such  a 
thing  in  the  wrong  way!" 

Welling:  "And  I'm  so  glad  now  I 
didn't  try  to  lie  to  you  about  it." 

Miss  Greenway :  "  It  wouldn't  have  been 
of  any  use.  You  couldn't  have  carried 
off  anything  of  that  sort.  The  truth  is 
bad  enough  for  you  to  carry  off.  Prom- 
ise me  that  you  will  always  leave  the 
other  thing  to  me" 

Welling :  "  I  will,  darling ;  I  will,  in- 
deed." 

Miss  Greenway :  "  And  now  we  must 
tell  Margaret,  of  course." 


MISS  RICE;  then  MR.  and  MRS.  CAMPBELL, 
and  the  OTHERS 

Miss  Rice,  rushing  in  upon  them,  and 
clasping  Miss  Greenway  in  a  fond  em- 
brace :  "  You  needn't.  Mrs.  Campbell  has 
told  me ;  and  oh,  Nelly,  I'm  so  happy  for 
you  !  And  isn't  it  all  the  greatest  mix  ?" 

Campbell,   rushing    in,   and    wringing 


Welling's  hand :  "  You  needn't  tell  me, 
either;  I've  been  listening,  and  I've  heard 
every  word.  I  congratulate  you,  my  dear 
boy !  I'd  no  idea  she'd  let  you  up  so  ea- 
sily. You'll  allow  yourself  it  isn't  a  very 
likely  story." 

Welling :  "  I  know  it.    But — " 

Miss  Rice :  "  That's  the  very  reason  no 
one  could  have  made  it  up." 

Miss  Greenway :  "  He  couldn't  have 
made  up  even  a  likely  story." 

Campbell:  "Congratulate  you  again, 
Welling.  Do  you  suppose  she  can  keep 
so  always  ?" 

Mrs.  Campbell,  rushing  in  with  extend- 
ed hands :  "  Don't  answer  the  wretch, 
Mr.  Welling.  Of  course  she  can  with 
you.  Dansons !"  She  gives  a  hand  to 
Miss  Greenway  and  Welling  each ;  the 
others  join  them,  and  as  they  circle  round 
the  table  she  sings, 

"  Sur  le  pont  d' Avignon, 
Tout  le  monde  y  danse  en  rond." 


Welling's  hand :  "  You  needn't  tell  me, 
either;  I've  been  listening,  and  I've  heard 
every  word.  I  congratulate  you,  my  dear 
boy !  I'd  no  idea  she'd  let  you  up  so  ea- 
sily. You'll  allow  yourself  it  isn't  a  very 
likely  story." 

winner  -.  «  I  know  it.    But— 


Job.V-5- 


Stab  by....No. 

Score  .....  /....  Press...?™....  Strip  Sect  ............ 

This  book  boimd  by  Pacific  Library  Binding 
Company,  Los  Angeles,  specialists  in  Library 
Binding.  Our  work  and  materials  are  guaranteed 
to  wear  indefinitely  to  satisfaction  of  purchaser,  and 
any  defects  appearing  in  either  will  be  made  good 
without  additional  charge.  "Bound  to  wear." 

others  join  them,  ana  as  tney  cucic  i^— 
the  table  she  sings, 

"  Sur  le  pont  d  'Avignon, 
Tout  k  monde  y  danse  en  rond" 


THE  END 


7  ooo oo59<^^ 

• 


